There are so many ways to change the way we see, feel, and hold our problems. Sometimes, everything seems impossibly knotted together inside us or our relationship. But every knot is just a series of threads tied a certain way and if we patiently feel each thread out, they can be untangled from us and woven into something more meaningful.
The Medicine Wheel offers just one way to see our problems more wholistically.
Medicine Wheels I’ve known are always divided into the four directions, each with lessons and reminders about different spirits, medicines, and aspects of life.
In the wheel I was taught, one thing the SOUTH reminds us is to feel warmth and remember we have power; a fire in our make-up that has always adapted, collecting wisdom and getting passed down as long as our genes have existed. The SOUTH also reminds us about relationships and the social part of our lives – such as family, kin, community, and nation. If we have a problem (if we are depressed, anxious, hurting ourselves, distressed by voices we are hearing, struggling in our relationships, feeling lost or without meaning, grieving, fearing death), we are reminded to ask:
How does this problem fit in my family? My extended family? My communities? My nation? My world? Am I isolating myself from any of these, pulling into myself and keeping my problem to myself?
How are each of these groups affected by the problem? How are each of these responsible for the problem? How can each of these help?
For example: Has your problem isolated you (or your family) from others, making you feel like you can’t talk about it because you think it reveals your flaws or faults, embarrasses you, or that you should be able to “just deal with it”? Is something preventing you from feeling open and connected with others about it? What can we do to reconnect you to others, reach out and share, and let go of the shame and guilt?
How is your nation responsible for your problem? Is there a system that is letting you down, oppressing you, not providing enough services or not giving you a way of talking about your problem? Does it contribute to your shame and make you feel responsible to figure this out by yourself?
Are there norms, standards, labels, images, racism, violence, other peoples’ advantage, economic pressures, or judgments you feel weighted down by? Are you judging yourself with someone else’s set of values to the point it hurts you and gets you stuck? How can we remove some of these barriers and help you see yourself how you wish you saw yourself?
What are your values? Your family’s? Your community’s? Your ancestors’? What information is waiting in your imagination and hopes?
Thinking this way, can you already feel more space inside your problem, more distance from it, more room for your own power and agency, your creativity?
The Medicine Wheel asks us to consider that if everything is connected, why should we ever be alone with our problem?
So, one single facet of one direction on the Medicine Wheel helps change the story. We are empowered by knowing a system is putting too much pressure on us. There is power in sharing our experience with others because it unburdens us of shame and guilt. We feel connected to a huge history of strength, resistance, and past succeeding. We remember there are always other ways of knowing, thinking, valuing, feeling, and seeing and maybe we’ve gotten stuck using society’s judgements against ourselves.
This way of thinking connects with many other evidenced-based counselling techniques such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, feminism and gender theory, Narrative Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Emotionally Focused Therapy…
Do you see how already there’s so much we can do, starting with just one aspect of just one tool available to us in counselling? Does this spark a sense of possibility or thrill of excitement or questions? Maybe that’s the fire!
There are many ways to approach a problem. Some things that counselling will always offer is connection, good listening, equality, and respect for everyone’s natural need to grow and thrive.
You can come see me at Evolve Counselling. My services are set at accessible rates and if there are barriers to your accessing help, you can contact us.
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